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The Lamb and the Duck Here is a once popular childrens tale found during an archeological dig... it had been written in urine on a cave wall... and beautifuly preserved.
The air grew colder by the minute. It was four o'clock in the morning and Billy sure as hell wasn't impressed with his surroundings. The middle of the Atlantic ocean was definately no place for a seven year old to be roaming around in a small rubber dingy. He wasn't quite sure how he got there but at the moment, the only thing he could think of was how he was going to retrieve his Captain Raymond walky-talky which had fallen overboard while he rounded the coast of Greenland. Suddenly, while in deep thought, Billy began to feel as if he were being lifted from the surface of the water. Terrified, Billy peered over the side of his Captain Raymond inflatable mini aircraft carrier. But he felt quite at ease again when he saw it was only another submarine. All the other subs had ignored the distressed seven yeard old trapped floating in a rubber boat facing waves up to 300 feet tall... but this sub was different. When the submarine had completely surfaced, two men in uniform had come out from the hatch to investigate. Billy, still involved in an intense game of solitaire with his Captain Raymond playing cards, didn't even notice the men who approached the small boat in wich he sat. "Billy? Billy is that you again?" said the first man. "Huh? Oh hello Mr. Duncan" replied Billy while flipping his cards. "For the love of God!! Stay off the God Dammned Atlantic! This is not a play area!" yelled Duncan "Dammit yourself Duncan! As i've pointed out before...I major in most sciences and in specific Marine studies!" returned Billy. "Oh... right... sorry." said Duncan as he frowned a frowny frown. This had always slipped Duncan's mind when he spoke with the boy for some reason. Maybe it was Billy's glasses that made him look younger then seven. After apologizing, Duncan quickly returned to his Submarine and submerged before angering the boy any further. By this time Billy was frustrated. The cold nibble at his exposed flesh, for he had outgrown his Captain Raymond Ballistic one piece pajamas. Slowly... Billy drifted into a deep chilling sleep. Billy awoke to a thump. The Captain Raymond Super Dooper Land Tracking device he carried had been true in guiding the vessel to land. Billy was proud. He hopped up and exited to the right of the boat. A dense jungle stood before Billy. Through the trees he could make out a tiny village. Strange men danced about a fire wearring only bones in their hair and loin cloth. But the forest was to thick to cross, and time was not something Billy had to play with. Reaching back in the boat for his Captain Raymond Dense Forest Remover, he leveled 400 square feet of forestation in a little under 20 minutes. The men stood starring in confusion. "You stupid fat bastard..what the hell is your problem?" said Moogu, the tallest of the men. "Wait! We can leave the island...he has saved us!!" returned Aigu, the fatest, ugliest and most unintelligent of the group. "So true brother... thank you young fat boy with glasses for saving us from our eternal damnation!" "I am pleased to help my new friends... let us venture forth to the seas in search of dry land and safety and food to......" Billy was interupted at this point by a large BANG the repelled him backwards with such force that blood squirted from his ears when hitting a tree. "Oops..damn trigger finger..." said Moogu... and the men returned to dancing about the fire as if nothing had happened. Billy's corpse lay impaled in a broken branch sticking out from the tree stump that had stopped his flight. His chest bloody and his glasses broken...he still kept the same loving smile he had managed to keep the whole trip. He was dead, and bleeding excessively. Billy managed to escape the Atlantic's chill and waves...but Oh..how is Billy going to escape this little mess hahaha. Silly Boy. Tune in next week when our hero Billy decays... will he find a way to free his smelly rotting self from the broken branch sticking from his rib cage?
We'll find out...
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